Think about it. Mysterious brotherhoods rule the world. The aliens are already here. Strange stories about the Catholic Church, about the jews, and now about Bush and the Bin Ladens. They won't go away. And of course, everybody was involved in the murder of JFK, except my grandmother. And even that is just because I supposedly have no grandmother, since - would you believe it - I am just a cartoon character. The things people invent !
Personally, I don't believe any of it. In fact most of these stories are quite obviously sheer nonsense. So where do they come from? If they were the inventions of a few scattered lunatics, nobody would pay any attention to them. And yet books, nay, entire libraries of very elaborate theories are writtten - and actually read. Why does anyone take the trouble? If someone is a good guy, you don't want others to think he is aiming at world dominance, so why try to convince them of just that? There must be a different purpose to it all. Clearly, such theories are presented not to control the alleged conspirators, but us, the general public. I just don't know why, yet. There must be some pretty powerful people involved to ensure the necessary media attention at all times, so newspapers and publishing houses could all be a part of it. I wouldn't trust the government too much either. And what about the Internet, where you will find these lines? What dark powers control it?
It's a conspiracy, I tell you !
Just as I had written this entry, my computer stopped accessing the net, delaying the arrival of my wise words on your screens by several weeks. I told you it's a conspiracy ! Oh, Harold, can you cheque the speling, I must run and - uh - feed the cat.
28 July, 2004
I'm sure you are not wondering where we were going, H and I, when he had the flat I told you about. I'll tell you anyway. We were going to a shop that sells everything you never knew you needed, or even existed, to buy a toy for H's little son. It was one of the boy's most important unbirthdays this year. The toy chosen in the end was really a glorified spinning top. I won't bore you with details about the top itself, but the user instructions are worth a comment.
The spinning top was obviously made in China, but to sell it internationally, instructions in English are a sine qua non. What to do then, when knowledge of the English language is sparse?
The answer is, find a dictionary, a computer program, a distant cousin who actually had the opportunity to take lessons - two or three - in short, anything that is better than nothing. Excerpts of the result follow.
Use the screwdriver that family use
Pack the battery on the super peg-top,
Then insert 2 screws into the super
Peg-top reverse side of screw
Bore and tight fixup
Game method
It is tight to seize firmly to the reversion
emitter operation made an effort on
pulling the dragon involution the
PEG-TOP can revolve
Native speakers of English may remark that this is not an entirely natural style. In fact I have yet to find someone who actually understands any of this. But do not think I am saying this to criticise the Chinese. In fact I mean to commend them on their courage. At least they have written something. And just imagine what horrible things someone like me (and they say I am not modest) might produce in Chinese. What I wanted to talk about today, is the fact that too many people in their handwriting add a dot above the capital "I". And I mean people who were trained from an early age to use the Roman alphabet. Take a good look at your typewriter or computer fonts. Is there a dot? Only in the case of a small letter. So why do you insist on adding one? Do you know better than the people who created the alphabet or the computer fonts?
To tell the truth, you should never add a dot to any "i". The dot is already a part of the small "i". If you add a dot, there will be two. That would look silly. Unless you want to use the diaeresis, like in French. That's got two dots, and if the internet is kind to us, it looks like this: ï
Of course, if we add a dot to that, there will be three. And that would just be two mutch.
25 July, 2004
You may have heard that H can play the guitar. Especially when he practices. The other day I was out bicycle-riding with him. An example of Portuguese driving led to screaching car breaks in front of us. H does not have perfect pitch, mind you, but when he... practices a lot, he can sometimes remember the notes for a while. So the car went eeeeeeeeee, and H said: I wonder if that's not a B flat. He made a beep on his wrist watch just to check and declared: It is. He was very pleased with himself. Seconds later his bike went pfffft. That'll be a flat too, I told him. I'm so witty.
12 April, 2004
So H has bought the remastered ti... TITS. The first thing you would notice about it, if you had it in your hand, is that it is copy protected. Probably because they're worried H might play it in his car, which luckily is not likely to work with this security measure in place. Chiefly because H has no car.
Secondly you would notice there are two discs.This is because there is more than twice as much music on this edition compared to the original version. You might expect everything but the kitchen sink, but you are wrong. The kitchen sink is included. I mean, MS must have spent many a waking hour debating whether I Am Not Here should be entitled I'll Get Back To You ! (I am so clever)
In conclusion, H is actually using his cd player again (what does he see in those eighties' bands?), making it harder for a good friend to appreciate the finer parts of his cd collection. Should I review some more remasters, perhaps? To guide the young and inexperienced thruogh the musical jungle, I mean.
Oh by the way, welcome to the diary section of our internet site. I'll get back to my esteamed reeders shortly. Let me just find my dicshonary and gramar book to keep this at a decent level.